“Death By a Thousand Cuts”: Exploring Maternal Embodiment in Neonatal Intensive Care

Neonatal intensive care units (NICU) provide specialist medical care to preterm infants (< 36 weeks gestation). In recent years the medical care of preterm babies has increasingly involved the birthing body in practices believed to enhance the wellbeing of the infant. For example, mothers and birthing people are encouraged to express breast milk for tube feeding, make their bodies available for skin-to-skin contact and wear pieces of fabric close to their skin to place in the incubator with their infant. While a growing body of research exists as to the benefits of such practices for the wellbeing of the infant, studies of maternal embodiment in NICU are rare and this maybe partly due to the sensitive nature of the topic and uncertainties about how best to explore maternal embodiment in this context.

Drawing on interviews which were conducted following a series of creative online workshops involving 10 NICU mothers, this presentation focusses on the novel methods used to explore embodiment in ways which are sensitive to the trauma experienced during preterm birthing and while mothering in NICU. Participants took part in 6 workshops where they reconstructed a leaflet designed for parents using creative methods including collage, soundscape making and poetry writing. The workshops were followed by interviews in which the participants selected specific pieces produced during the workshops and took part in a qualitative interview focussed on the artwork. These methods helped to uncover aspects of maternal embodiment which may not have been otherwise verbalised, revealing how the medical objectification of routine maternal care practices such as skin-to-skin and the expression of breast milk led the participants to question their ability to mother effectively; compounding and intensifying feelings of failure due to disrupted gestation and the inability of their bodies to respond to the expectations of the neonatal care setting.