Navigating Consent and Mononormativity: The Inclusion of "Infidelity" Practitioners in Japan's Polyamory Community

This research explores how Japan's polyamorous community is open to those who engage in "infidelity" or "cheating," creating space for diverse alternative forms of intimacy. Previous studies on polyamory have tended to assume that there is a clear boundary between polyamory and "infidelity." While media coverage and polyamorous activists in the anglophone sphere do have a tendency to reinforce this boundary, an examination of a polyamorous community in a non-Western society reveals a different reality. This study suggests that culturally embedded mononormative values in Japan help create a polyamorous community that is lenient toward those who unwillingly practice "infidelity."

I conducted 32 in-depth interviews with Japanese people who participate in a polyamorous community operating through online and offline meetups and events. According to my analysis, it was noteworthy that many interviewees expressed their experiences of hesitancy and difficulties disclosing their polyamorous desires and obtaining consent from their partners. In many cases, the individuals navigate their desires for multiple relationships within a mononormative society, while benefiting from the emotional and mental support provided by the polyamorous community.

The research reveals that while polyamory is often seen as an ethical alternative to "infidelity," the boundary between the two can blur in practice, particularly when consent is difficult to obtain. A Polyamorous community in Japan offers a space where individuals struggling to secure full consent from their partners can openly discuss their challenges and seek advice without judgment. These communities help people resist mononormative pressures and provide a support network for those negotiating consent.

In conclusion, this research describes a previously under-recognized aspect of polyamorous communities. By incorporating individuals struggling with consent, polyamorous communities help people challenge mononormativity. They also foster a more nuanced understanding of (un)consensual relationships, ultimately creating space for diverse alternative relationship models.