On the Pursuit of My Mother’s Agency: Her Responsibilization for Eldercare and My Ph.D. As a Daughter’s Duty
This study aims to demystify the power relations within my extended family and hometown community that responsibilized my mother for caring for her mother-in-law for 17 years, thereby uncovering the unseen consequences of her care labor and the process that ultimately led to her stomach cancer diagnosis. Drawing on autoethnography, it focuses on my memories presented in twentyish sequences showcasing my life with my mother as I recalled it, to explore the following questions: (1) What prompted my mother to assume greater caregiving responsibilities for my paternal grandmother than other family members? (2) How can her agency in caregiving be situated within a broader framework of the Turkish familialist welfare system?
Firstly, this study argues that women in extended families do not engage in caregiving at the same level, nor do they all share an equal sense of responsibility. Secondly, various forms of capital—such as beauty, love, class, and cultural capital—held by women and daughters-in-law within an extended family can significantly shape their bargaining strategies regarding caregiving responsibilities. Within this framework, the article highlights the correlation between the stigmatization of my mother based on others' perceptions of her un-beauty and her ‘perfect’ performance in caregiving. It also aims to uncover her agency in this process. Throughout this analysis, I discovered that my mother’s ‘self-sacrifice’ might be partially preferred as a response to the lack of a right-based approach in the welfare system, which compels older people to bear the consequences of their families’ caregiving strategies and conflicts. I am confident that my mother preferred a decent life for my grandmother on behalf of other family members, the community, and the state.