Empathy and Friendship

Despite the importance of empathy in social discourse, the concept of empathy rarely appears systematically in the sociology of friendship. Why is this?

What does empathy mean in friendship? Does friendship stand for empathy and empathy for friendship? What forms of empathy can be found in friendships? How does empathic behaviour manifest itself in friendships?

The widespread adoption of empathy has both positive and negative effects, ranging from fostering deeper bonds to the potential for manipulation and exploitation. This corresponds with friendship culture, which encourages people to open up emotionally, to be 'vulnerable' or 'let others in' in order to create intimacy, exchange emotional support and reveal their 'true' selves. On the other hand, it also warns that being there for others can be emotionally draining and that 'boundaries' must be maintained to protect one's health and happiness' (Bellah et al., 2008; Illouz, 2008).

The presentation will focus on the theorisation of friendship and empathy. It will also examine interviews about women's friendships to see how empathy is lived and the challenges that arise. It will draw on my diverse research on friendship (2013; 2016; 2017; 2019).

Alleweldt, E. (2013): Die differenzierten Welten der Frauen­freundschaften. Eine Berliner Fallstudie. Weilerswist: Velbrück.

(mit J. Schobin et al.) (2016): Freundschaft heute. Eine Einführung in die Freundschaftssoziologie. Bielefeld: transcript.

Alleweldt, E. (2019): Frauenfreundschaften: Mythen und Realitäten. In: Stiehler, S. (Hg.): Zur Zukunft der Freundschaft. Freundschaft zwischen Idealisierung und Auflösung. Berlin: Frank & Timme, S. 143-157.

Bellah RN, Madsen R, Sullivan WM, et al. (2008 [1985]) Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life. Berkeley: University of California Press.

Illouz E (2008) Saving the Modern Soul: Therapy, Emotions, and the Culture of Self-help. Berkeley: University of California Press.