Romantic Dystopia: Dating Narratives and Relationship Bloggers on a Chinese Female Online Platform

In Cold Intimacies, Illouz (2007: 5) analyzes emotional capitalism as a contemporary American culture, “in which emotional and economic discourse and practices mutually shape each other, thus producing...a broad, sweeping movement in which emotional life...follows the logic of economic relations and exchange.” Likewise, a large group of female relationship bloggers in China have developed a set of their own narratives to rationalize romance and intimate relationships as well, by using the language of business and even “games”. Their dating narratives are same popular in the overseas Chinese female online community in the Western society, where the digital-based dating culture is prevalent among the younger generations. This research project examines the notion of “emotional capitalism” through an investigation of how overseas Chinese relationship bloggers produce their dating narratives, with a focus on a female-oriented social media platform Xiaohongshu, also known as “Red”.

Based on in-depth interviews with the relationship bloggers and their followers on Red, I argue that Chinese female relationship bloggers are producing a gendered dating narrative with two major features: First, the dating narrative has a significant commodification logic which commodifies romantic relationships, objectifies potential partners, and represents the dating process as a gambling game. Second, this narrative has a gendered perspective that emphasizes a strong female selfhood in relationships, while downplaying the importance of romance and romantic love for women. In the meantime, men are portrayed as players in the dating game who do not share the same interests with women and are often seen as adversaries.