Covert Kinkeeping: Insights from Multi-Generational Families in Southeast Asia

Literature on kinkeeping highlights the central role of women in maintaining and strengthening familial ties, particularly within extended family networks. Much of the existing scholarship focuses on the transmission of kinkeeping responsibilities from mothers to daughters, encompassing tasks such as organizing family gatherings, remembering significant dates, and staying updated on family members’ lives. However, this study shifts the focus to examine kinkeeping not solely through a gendered lens but within the broader framework of generational dynamics. Drawing on mediated and ongoing ethnographic research with multi-generational families from a Philippine and Malay village, I propose two key arguments.

First, while men are often seen as peripheral to kinkeeping practices, this study reveals that men do engage in kinkeeping, albeit at a later stage in life compared to women. Their strategies, though less visible in early adulthood, become more prominent as they age. Second, I argue that fathers also pass down kinkeeping practices to their sons, though these strategies are often subtler and less explicit than those transmitted by mothers. The existing focus on women’s more overt forms of kinkeeping has obscured the role that men play in sustaining family connections.

Additionally, this study examines the distinct conditions under which kinkeeping responsibilities are passed down to daughters versus sons, revealing important differences shaped by both gender and generational expectations. Ultimately, I argue for a reconsideration of kinkeeping in sociological research, suggesting that it be analyzed not only as a gendered practice but also within the context of generational discourses. This is particularly relevant in Southeast Asia, where kinship systems are hierarchically organized around age and seniority, offering new insights into the interwoven nature of gender and generation in familial roles.