History of Courtship and Dating in Japan

The marriage pattern in Japan developed from the group/horde marriage in the Primitive Times to the tsumadoi-kon (the groom commuted to the bride residence), to the muko-in (the groom lived with the bride family) during the aristocracy, and to the yome-in (women marrying into men’s families) under the Bushi ruling. It was only after the Meiji era that Japanese marriage changed to the Yoriai pattern based on the mutual consent of the marriage partners.

Then, two types of mate selection pattern emerged: the arranged (miai), and the romantic marriage (ren-ai).  In the arranged marriage the go-between (nakoudo) arranges formal interviews providing the young with opportunities for meeting possible marriage partners. During the early stage of Japanese modernization miai was the predominant pattern, however the complete reversal has emerged today, and ren-ai has become the dominant pattern instead. 

Recently, young Japanese have difficulties in finding ideal marriage partners. Consequently, great many Japanese men and women remain single lifetime (1920: about 2% for both men and women; 2010: 20% for men and 11% for women).  Extremely high rates for life-time singlehood of Japanese men and women today are one of the major reasons for the fertility decline.

Attempting to provide young people with mate selection opportunities various “Kon-Katsu” services (marriage mate seeking activities) have been established by local municipal offices, commercial matchmaking agencies, and Machi-Kon (Township Companion where both young men couples and women couples meet in group). Furthermore, the current government will extend monetary support to marriage services organized by municipal offices effective 2014 fiscal year.

Marriage, however, is an individual and private matter.  And, therefore, if one decides to lead a lifetime singlehood, it matters only to him/herself.  Nevertheless, it is hoped that these new styles of courtship and dating will encourage Japanese youth to go forward for marriage.